THE BLEEDING HEART

       It all started with the lap dance Mary gave me. We just couldn't resist going down low to that song. You know the song, the one everyone has been going crazy about....Caro by Wizkid.  Though I had no Caro in my life but trust me, Mary they fire pass Caro and me, I like hot things.

Skin to skin every Friday night....."body no be fire wood" That is always our excuse. After all, everyone is doing it and I can't carry last. No dulling on Friday's at all, I drink away my sorrow to get elated. Trading my sorrow for bottles of Bayles and mostly Mc Dowells because i'm not a member of the "Women of faith" choir who only trade their sorrow at the foot of the cross.

......and God said, let the earth put forth vegetation. Plants yielding seeds and fruit trees yielding fruits whose seed is in itself.....Gen 1vs 11. For this reason, i like flowers of all kinds especially weeds. It takes me to cloud 9, my planet of ecstasy. That single feeling makes me say; God is great! He is high without any weed so He created an artificial form of staircase to take me high too.

After the deadly romance with bottles and the rigorous caressing of weed with my tongue, it all boils down to sister Mary. Definitely not Mary the mother of Jesus but Mary the choir member in the church. A chronic christian baptized with the flesh, the only place she can preach the gospel is in the bedroom.

......but I keep wondering, is it all worth it?
       what have I gained so far?
I keep asking myself time and time again, running errands of thoughts. Getting high with drinks, the weed, the sex with another. Am I not breaking his heart?

I only try to please my heart and body but I forget about his. Our hearts get shattered from  break up's yet we break up from him everyday. He remained faithful but I cheated  on  him with other people and things.

Just so you know, I'm not gay. I'm talking about him, the one person I should love the most,  the one person that never betrayed me even after  I caught Mary sleeping with my best friend Joseph the choir master. I'm talking about him......Jesus Christ.
       
I just make his sacrifice seem like a bloody waste. How asinine I am not to be greatful! puncturing his heart with my sins and still using his words as an excuse. "Drink but don't get drunk", so  I drink away my soul forgetting the words "don't be drunk with wine because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit.....Ephesians 5:8"
     
Just because everything you created is good like the fruit tree at the middle of the Garden of Eden, I got stuck with a variety of weeds.
I know your heart bleeds everyday because of me. Me that my lies have made the devil look like a learner.

I know you're like me in one area at least.....Yes! You reading this. You might be a masters degree holder in the art of lying while I'm paving ways with my PhD or probably your area of ministry is in the bedroom. Binding , casting and preaching the gospel skin to skin or your stomach keeps calling the bottles especially the cold ones seriously sweating and seducing you, plus you think weeds are better than flowers.....His heart is bleeding, don't let him bleed to death because there is no hospital in heaven.

Dear Lord, i'm giving up all my old ways so your wound can heal, I know I'm not perfect but accept me as I am because all I need now Is you.

by Aminu Lekan